It hit me.
I'm already 19 years of age, this is it, in less than one year I'll be twenty years old. As the days creep by I find myself worrying over the slightest of things, like, if I sleep in an extra half hour will it effect the rest of my life? Like a snowball effect, will I go tumbling and falling down this path of arduousness?
Of course not! I'm simply overreacting, right?
Suddenly any decision I make is the rest of my life, that's what I am, it will forever define me.
It's not that I'm afraid of growing older, I'm also not in any rush either, I'm more afraid of not doing something worthwhile with my life, I'm more afraid of regretting things that I have and haven't done. All of the what if's that linger in the air and swarm around you, suffocating, forcing you to choke on them like secondhand smoke to the cigarettes of poor decisions. But its not so bad, I'm slowly realizing that all of these doubts and fears I'm having are simply the result of a life change or more so, a change of perspective, and this is good, viewing the world and the people in it with a seemingly fresh set of eyes and a broadened mindset is a wonderful advantage that my younger self used to crave, unfortunately she also used to think it would be impossible to break away from the injurious mindset she allowed herself to be molded into.
Becoming aware of yourself in such a manner is simply a part of growing up, I'm at a point in my life where I'm not sure who I want to be but I wake every morning knowing very well who it is I don't want to be, and that's a good start. I don't wish to grow old filled with regret and longing for things I no longer can change or have control over, mistakes will be made and lessons shall be learned. 19 down, so far so good.
Sincerely, Teenage Girl
I'm already 19 years of age, this is it, in less than one year I'll be twenty years old. As the days creep by I find myself worrying over the slightest of things, like, if I sleep in an extra half hour will it effect the rest of my life? Like a snowball effect, will I go tumbling and falling down this path of arduousness?
Of course not! I'm simply overreacting, right?
Suddenly any decision I make is the rest of my life, that's what I am, it will forever define me.
It's not that I'm afraid of growing older, I'm also not in any rush either, I'm more afraid of not doing something worthwhile with my life, I'm more afraid of regretting things that I have and haven't done. All of the what if's that linger in the air and swarm around you, suffocating, forcing you to choke on them like secondhand smoke to the cigarettes of poor decisions. But its not so bad, I'm slowly realizing that all of these doubts and fears I'm having are simply the result of a life change or more so, a change of perspective, and this is good, viewing the world and the people in it with a seemingly fresh set of eyes and a broadened mindset is a wonderful advantage that my younger self used to crave, unfortunately she also used to think it would be impossible to break away from the injurious mindset she allowed herself to be molded into.
Becoming aware of yourself in such a manner is simply a part of growing up, I'm at a point in my life where I'm not sure who I want to be but I wake every morning knowing very well who it is I don't want to be, and that's a good start. I don't wish to grow old filled with regret and longing for things I no longer can change or have control over, mistakes will be made and lessons shall be learned. 19 down, so far so good.
Sincerely, Teenage Girl
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